First, and foremost, I must say that the word "ding" is truly an amazing word. By repeating the word, to make it ding-ding, the original amazingness is only, well, more amazing.
To illustrate my point, let's start with some of the many definitions of this word. Please note that the spelling and grammar rules as they pertain to this word should be very important, but have been completely manufactured by myself. Definitions that I wish to explore are[1]:
For this story, not only will I using as many possible variations of the word “ding” as possible, but will largely focus on the first definition of the word, in which Ding Ding is the name of a female of Asian descent.
Without further ado, please allow me to introduce you, dear reader, to Ding Ding.
Now, let's not prematurely assign any judgements to someone that has Ding Ding as a name. The particular individual that I wish to speak about was someone that you might have initially presumed to be a real ding ding (someone who is not entirely more than half-empty in the great ”bucket of intelligence”). No, amigos, in this case, Ding Ding is the name of a Taiwanese woman who was my cabin-mate in a mountain village in Japan; a village from which I was exploring the great DingDing of Skiing.
It WAS clear that Ding Ding was a ding-ding. She had all the fancy smancy technological devices; she had top name-brand clothing; and, she ALWAYS looked as if she had just stepped right off of the runway.... ALWAYS!
As it turns out, Ding Ding made her living as a travel writer, although she could have done quite well other occupations in which attractiveness and a womanly-shaped body are highly sought after. Indeed, Ding Ding had more curves than the bell on a Dingding’s truck and wore tighter clothes (which greatly accentuated her various dingding(s)) than a bouncer in front of a southern back-alley ding/ding.
As it turns out, Ding Ding and I were cabin-mates for several days. At the end of each day, I would return from my search of the great DingDing of Skiing to said winter cabin to find Ding Ding doing a variety of tasks. I could never find a pattern to these tasks that Ding Ding performed from which I might be allowed to gain any insight to her purpose of being in our little Japanese cabin. These tasks included:
But I digress...
After a few days of the usual pleasantries and the unusual tasks, I endeavored to greater understand Ding Ding. It was as this point that, with her limited English and my nonexistent Taiwanese[4], that I learned that Ding Ding[5] traveled all over the world and did as she pleased. She was not bound by the social frameworks of time and money. No, she traveled and tasked as she pleased and at her leisure.
Well, suffice it to say, that this greatly interested me and prompted me to inquire as to her ability to afford such luxury. She confidently confessed that she was able to enjoy this auspicious lifestyle by writing a few stories about her travels and submitting them to a Chinese travel magazine. Well, I must say that these ideas greatly sparked my imagination and caused further inquiries on my part.
Ding Ding continued by greatly encouraging me (which involved a LOT of bowing and reticent looks) to write about my travels. She was confident that “you like! for you, lotsa money!!!!”. Then and there, I vowed to Ding Ding that I would begin writing immediately and take advantage of living a lifestyle similar to hers[6]. The world was to be my oyster and I was to live on the riches of the pearls that it would produce!
And so it is, that with my vow complete and my search of the great DingDing of Skiing temporarily assuaged, I left our magically little mountain cabin.
So, Ding Ding, wherever you are, I begin to complete my vow and thank you for the words of encouragement. If we ever meet again, I hope that we can drink a cold ding (but not dings) and have one helluva ding while wearing dings and research the possible definitions of dingding.
Ding!
Footnotes:
1. For your ease of reading, definitions are defined in the order in which they appear in this story of ours. -return to the story
2. For the record, only presumption was involved. -return to the story
3. Other interesting definitions for the word "ding":
-Colloquial term referring to the alcoholic beverage "Strongbow".
-Virginian slang for cocaine [dings].
-Australian slang for a lively party or celebration (variations: humdinger, wingdinger).
-Person wearing a Canadian tuxedo (jean pants with a jean jacket).
-Cantonese for the word "damn". -return to the story
4. Indeed, my linguistic knowledge of Taiwan was so poor that I couldn't even distinguish whether dearest Ding Ding spoke Taiwanese Hokkien (spoken by about 70% of the population of Taiwan) or Taiwanese Mandarin (the official language of Taiwan). -return to the story
5. Isn't it amazing how her name just rolls off the tongue?!?!? -return to the story
6. I must to admit, that at that time, while still under the influence of Ding Ding’s charms, that I would have committed to most anything. -return to the story
To illustrate my point, let's start with some of the many definitions of this word. Please note that the spelling and grammar rules as they pertain to this word should be very important, but have been completely manufactured by myself. Definitions that I wish to explore are[1]:
- Ding Ding: name used for females of Asian descent in which the repetition of the word adds a distinct amount of cuteness. Known variations include: Ling Ling, Qing Qing, Ting Ting, Xing Xing, Ying Ying
- ding ding: a person lacking general intelligence; i.e. - someone who is a few to many beans short of a full burrito. Known variations include: ding-a-ling, ding-dong
- DingDing: a mysterious force that can only be truly defined upon finding it; e.g. - "I am constantly searching for the Great DingDing that will give meaning to all life."
- ding-ding: used to describe someone who likes all the bells and whistles; e.g. For example, "That ding-ding's truck has more lights on it than a UFO." See also "whacker" or "wanker".
- dING dING: slang term used by police to describe firefighters. The origin stems from the sounds of a bell on an antique fire truck.
- dingding(s): used to describe various parts of the human anatomy, for either males or females. Known variations include: ding-a-ling, ding-dong
- ding/ding: an illegal slot machine
- dingding: presumably[2], some sort of sexually act as defined by a 50+ year old Vietnamese-esque woman in Bahrain as she asked, "I give you ding ding?" while pointing to my groin region.
For this story, not only will I using as many possible variations of the word “ding” as possible, but will largely focus on the first definition of the word, in which Ding Ding is the name of a female of Asian descent.
Without further ado, please allow me to introduce you, dear reader, to Ding Ding.
Now, let's not prematurely assign any judgements to someone that has Ding Ding as a name. The particular individual that I wish to speak about was someone that you might have initially presumed to be a real ding ding (someone who is not entirely more than half-empty in the great ”bucket of intelligence”). No, amigos, in this case, Ding Ding is the name of a Taiwanese woman who was my cabin-mate in a mountain village in Japan; a village from which I was exploring the great DingDing of Skiing.
It WAS clear that Ding Ding was a ding-ding. She had all the fancy smancy technological devices; she had top name-brand clothing; and, she ALWAYS looked as if she had just stepped right off of the runway.... ALWAYS!
As it turns out, Ding Ding made her living as a travel writer, although she could have done quite well other occupations in which attractiveness and a womanly-shaped body are highly sought after. Indeed, Ding Ding had more curves than the bell on a Dingding’s truck and wore tighter clothes (which greatly accentuated her various dingding(s)) than a bouncer in front of a southern back-alley ding/ding.
As it turns out, Ding Ding and I were cabin-mates for several days. At the end of each day, I would return from my search of the great DingDing of Skiing to said winter cabin to find Ding Ding doing a variety of tasks. I could never find a pattern to these tasks that Ding Ding performed from which I might be allowed to gain any insight to her purpose of being in our little Japanese cabin. These tasks included:
- Making instant ramen-type noodles.
- Meticulously packing and re-packing her bags.
- Trying an various footwear that could be found around the cabin.
- Contemplating whether 18 really was the answer to all questions in the universe.
But I digress...
After a few days of the usual pleasantries and the unusual tasks, I endeavored to greater understand Ding Ding. It was as this point that, with her limited English and my nonexistent Taiwanese[4], that I learned that Ding Ding[5] traveled all over the world and did as she pleased. She was not bound by the social frameworks of time and money. No, she traveled and tasked as she pleased and at her leisure.
Well, suffice it to say, that this greatly interested me and prompted me to inquire as to her ability to afford such luxury. She confidently confessed that she was able to enjoy this auspicious lifestyle by writing a few stories about her travels and submitting them to a Chinese travel magazine. Well, I must say that these ideas greatly sparked my imagination and caused further inquiries on my part.
Ding Ding continued by greatly encouraging me (which involved a LOT of bowing and reticent looks) to write about my travels. She was confident that “you like! for you, lotsa money!!!!”. Then and there, I vowed to Ding Ding that I would begin writing immediately and take advantage of living a lifestyle similar to hers[6]. The world was to be my oyster and I was to live on the riches of the pearls that it would produce!
And so it is, that with my vow complete and my search of the great DingDing of Skiing temporarily assuaged, I left our magically little mountain cabin.
So, Ding Ding, wherever you are, I begin to complete my vow and thank you for the words of encouragement. If we ever meet again, I hope that we can drink a cold ding (but not dings) and have one helluva ding while wearing dings and research the possible definitions of dingding.
Ding!
 |
| Auspicious signage. -Niseko, Hokkaido [Japan] |
Footnotes:
1. For your ease of reading, definitions are defined in the order in which they appear in this story of ours. -return to the story
2. For the record, only presumption was involved. -return to the story
3. Other interesting definitions for the word "ding":
-Colloquial term referring to the alcoholic beverage "Strongbow".
-Virginian slang for cocaine [dings].
-Australian slang for a lively party or celebration (variations: humdinger, wingdinger).
-Person wearing a Canadian tuxedo (jean pants with a jean jacket).
-Cantonese for the word "damn". -return to the story
4. Indeed, my linguistic knowledge of Taiwan was so poor that I couldn't even distinguish whether dearest Ding Ding spoke Taiwanese Hokkien (spoken by about 70% of the population of Taiwan) or Taiwanese Mandarin (the official language of Taiwan). -return to the story
5. Isn't it amazing how her name just rolls off the tongue?!?!? -return to the story
6. I must to admit, that at that time, while still under the influence of Ding Ding’s charms, that I would have committed to most anything. -return to the story
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